A current of fear is raging in my soul.
It prevents the belief I’ll ever be whole.
My internal sorrow is rooted in shame,
Seen in the game of affixing the blame.
I fight to be seen as the one without error,
For allegations of fault bring me to terror;
I fear you’ll discover what I already sense,
“I am defective;” perfection is my defense.
As I point a finger and judge you for sin,
It’s my cover for the flowing fear within.
Shame screams to me, “I am defective,”
This becomes the source of my invective.
If I seem out of control and full of anger,
The one you love may become a stranger.
I’m struggling to grasp God’s truth of me,
To fathom how His grace can set me free.
God says I’m in His image and bear His grace.
I’m the apple of His eye. He’s taken my place.
He’d never come to die for one without worth.
Pray I find rest in this Greatest Love on earth.
It’s the demon of shame driving my inner fear,
Convincing me, “No way God holds me dear.”
When I come to believe God over my shame,
I’ll love you as is and end the blame game.
I wrote the above poem about seven years ago. I hope it helps two kinds of people who hear it.
1. First, those battling shame and pointing the finger of blame at another person as the source or solution for the pain they feel within. Typically, I see shame in those who claim to be victims of narcissistic behavior. Psychologists tend to help wounded people recover by leading the wounded to blame others for the pain, and suggesting if “others” would change, healing within would come. In truth, only the love of God roots out shame and heals the wounded soul, ending the blame game..
2. Second, those who are having the finger of blame pointed at them as the cause of another’s pain. If you are that person, God calls you to love the wounded soul accusing and affixing blame on you for the woundedness and hurt in the accuser. At the same time, don’t take responsibility for “fixing” the wounded person. You can’t fix what’s broken in another. Only God can. Sometimes relationships fracture so that the one playing the blame game can realize God’s grace in Christ Jesus is their only hope for healing.